


Oblivion Is Calling Out Your Name

by TinySpiney



Series: I See You [5]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Human CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60 (Detroit: Become Human), Human Upgraded Connor | RK900
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinySpiney/pseuds/TinySpiney
Summary: Title is fromOblivion by BastilleWhich Ihighlyrecommend you listen to while reading, it sets the mood perfectly.
Relationships: Cole Anderson & Connor, Connor & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Connor & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60 & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60/Gavin Reed
Series: I See You [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730275
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Oblivion Is Calling Out Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from [Oblivion by Bastille](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF-_H54mydE)
> 
> Which I _highly_ recommend you listen to while reading, it sets the mood perfectly.

_ October 11th 2035 7:15 PM _

  
  


Connor was just getting Cole ready for bed when he got the call. Chris and Caleb stumbled onto a crime scene that had ties to known Red Ice dealers. But they couldn’t find anything substantial at the scene. Not even from the body. Connor dragged a hand down his face and sighed loudly into the phone, listening to Chris’ basic debrief. He was practically begging the man to come check it out. For fuck’s sake he became a lieutenant from busting a Red Ice operation just a few months ago. Connor could hear how tired he was and sympathized with him. He remembered when Cole was that young, all the sleepless nights he had and how many times he ended up falling asleep at random places in his house the next day. Chris’ son was just a few months old now, he was just starting to really get hit with the slight sleep deprivation. Honestly, Connor was just glad he didn’t have to do it alone like he had. Not that he regretted never asking for help. But it still would have made his life worlds easier.

Eventually Chris got Connor to agree to checking out the scene. It was late, Connor was tired, Cole was tired, Chris was tired. Shit, Connor needed to drop Cole off at Gavin’s. With a lazy yawn, Connor waved his son over, putting his hand on his head and welcoming the tired hug from him. He explained he was going to drop him off at his uncles’ house tonight because he had to help Uncle Caleb at work. Cole seemed less than thrilled. Pouting and lightly pounding his feet against the floor in protest. Oh Connor wanted nothing more than to call Chris back and say he couldn't make it. That something came up and he should call Gavin or something. But he already told Chris he’d be there, there was no getting out of it. Even if Cole’s disapproving green eyes bored into his own brown ones. Connor knelt down on the ground, squishing Cole’s cheeks enough to make him laugh, and kissed his forehead saying it was just for tonight. He could even bring his bear if he wanted. Cole thought about it for a minute before agreeing. 

Connor grabbed the impromptu sleepover bag from his closet, giving Sumo pats and a kiss before leaving the room. Cole was in his doorway, clutching his bear, whose face was well worn from how often Cole used to rub his face against it when he was younger. The bear looked like he was permanently angry, the fabric around the eyes a little lighter in some areas and making it look almost like angry eyebrows. Cole named the thing Hank. Connor could see it. Connor could also see just how tired his son was. His eyes half-lidded, looking like he was permanently fighting off a yawn, slightly swaying on his feet. He couldn’t help it. Connor picked him up and set Cole on his hip. He had to have been tired, he didn’t even protest. Usually he’d get all huffy and say he wasn’t a baby anymore. But tonight he laid his head against Connor’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Connor loved it, he wasn’t sure how much longer Cole would let himself be held close like this. His heart clenched at the thought that one day Cole wouldn’t  _ want _ to be hugged by his dad. But hopefully that day was far off in the future. Tonight he was six years old and was on his way to see his Uncle Gavin. Shit, Connor needed to call Gavin and tell him he was dropping Cole off. With a sigh, Connor used his somewhat free hand to grab his phone and call Gavin. 

  
  


“Hey Con, what’s up?”

“Hey Gav, listen, I gotta drop Cole off. Chris and Caleb found jack diddly squat at a scene and need my help.”

“Oh, got the kiddo?” Gavin chuckled on the other end and greeted the cat quietly. “Come on over, you know our door’s always open to you guys. You got his stuff for school tomorrow?”

“Yeah it’s in the bag, you’ve got a pair of his shoes?” Connor shuffled out the door, pressing the phone between his shoulder and head to have a hand to close the door with. “He’s half-asleep in my arms and he didn’t put shoes on. I’m already out the door so I’m not gonna force them on ‘im.”

“Uhh, lemme check.” Connor stood in the front lawn for a moment listening to Gavin rummage around. “Yeah, I’ve got his sneakers.”

“God,  _ you _ have them? I thought we lost them.” Connor unlocked the car and set Cole down in the passenger’s seat. A bad habit from when he was an infant. Gavin laughed on the other end of the call, it was nice to hear him laughing more. The stress of the wedding was getting to him too much lately. “Alright, we’re on our way over, see you in a few.”

  
  


While Caleb and Gavin had plans to move to the same street as Connor, it wouldn’t actually happen until after they got back from their honeymoon. It would have been nice to walk half a mile and end up at his brother’s house to drop off his son. But no, life just had to be difficult and constantly throw him curveballs. At least it wouldn’t be too long of a drive. It would be slower because there were ice warnings on the roads they were going down, but these new automated cars were pretty safe still. That didn’t mean that Connor didn’t know the damn things inside and out. If he was putting his son inside, he was gonna read every piece of information he could damn well find. He knew the thing about statistics. He knew that the cars checked through databases and cross referenced information with who was “expendable”. That was another reason why he kept Cole in the passenger's seat. If anything were to happen, he could grab him. Hold him close and hope that the car wouldn’t change it’s calculations. 

But honestly, now wasn’t the time for such thoughts. Right now Connor had to get his half-asleep kid to his brother’s house. His half-asleep kid who looked like he was about to pass right the hell out while holding his bear. So Connor turned the car on, and set Gavin’s address as the destination. It wasn’t going to be too long anyway, but he didn't want Cole to fall asleep in the car. It would be uncomfortable. That was something Connor happened to know from experience, even if it was him in the backseat that one time. But that was beside the point. Connor reached over to poke Cole’s cheek, earning a tired groan from him. So he did it again. And again. And again. He did it until Cole gave a huff and turned his head away to try and hide a laugh. Even then Cole looked like he was ready to fall asleep. The poor kid...

  
  


“Daddy, ‘m tired…”

“I know, Cole, I’m sorry.” Connor leaned over to ruffle his son’s hair gently before changing the radio station to some heavy metal. It always helped keep Cole awake. Besides, it wasn’t like he could understand  _ all _ the words. “But it’s just for tonight, okay? I promise you’re coming home tomorrow, I’ll pick you up from school and everything.”

“Ice cream?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Connor stuck his pinky out, and shook his hand when Cole wrapped his own around it. “Promise.”

  
  


Cole hummed and held his bear tighter. Connor kind of hated that Caleb and Gavin lived halfway in the city. Just enough on the outskirts that it was technically suburbs, but still urban enough to make all three cops nervous sometimes. Fuck he just wanted them to get married already, go on that damn honeymoon to unwind, and then move into the house down the street. It would be a lot easier for Niles to come visit, too. God, Connor needed to call him soon. When was the last time they just sat down and talked? Probably the last time they watched  _ Avatar: The Last Airbender, _ and that was in May. The time just flew right by. Maybe it was from being a parent and struggling to wrangle an energetic little kid, but Connor felt like he didn’t have enough of it anymore. Between Cole and the DPD, he was usually sleeping or in the bath. Those were his hobbies these days. Fuck that was sad, he needed to pick something else up. Maybe he could brainstorm about it with Chris and Caleb when he saw them. Would that be inappropriate to do at the scene of a crime, standing over a dead body? Probably. But he was too tired to care. 

Connor rolled his shoulders and tapped his foot to the music, looking at Cole half-slumped against the door. Oh, the kid knew that wasn’t safe. He nudged his son’s shoulder, gently telling him it wasn’t safe and he needed to sit up in his seat properly. Cole only rubbed his eyes and said he loved Connor. Fuck, he was tired if that was his first responce. Usually he’d deny it until he was red in the face. But he just heard his father's voice and defaulted to saying he loved him, just like he always did. Every time Connor went to wake him up in the morning, it was the first thing he’d say. His brain still trying to wake up and not really paying attention to anything. A very small “I love you, Daddy” clumsily being mumbled around a yawn. Connor only smiled, gently brushing his knuckles against Cole’s cheek, and said he loved him too. 

Though soft words and gentle touches were replaced by the squealing of tires and the honk of a horn. Connor looked out the windshield to find a truck, a  _ big _ one, skidding down the road. It was going so fast, it was hurtling forward,  _ it was in their lane. _ Instinctively, Connor grabbed from Cole. He had to save his son, he had to make sure he stayed alive. Fuck statistics, fuck fate, fuck the stupid fucking automated cars that didn’t stop unless they were at a goddamn stoplight or intersection or fucking crosswalk.  _ Connor needed to save his boy. _ It crashed into the car, sending it spiraling, the metal screeching against the tarmac. Mixing with Cole’s terrified shrieking.  _ His son, Connor needed to hold his son. _ Time felt like it was slowing down, Connor could see the glass suspended in the air, the truck almost frozen in place. It was horrifying. Connor tore his eyes away and they zeroed in on Cole. He was curled up in the seat, and went tumbling down, down, down, as the car flipped over. Something hit Conor in the head hard enough to make his vision spotty. Something else landing on his left arm with a sickening crack that caused enough pain for nausea to roll through him. But fuck, that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. He needed to get Cole close, he needed to protect him. That was his job as a parent. He forced his vision to be clear, as clear as he could get it, and he nearly threw up on the fucking spot in the car. 

Once the car was turned over, the doors and windows on the right side, _ the passenger’s side, _ were shattered. There was blood.  _ Fuck, there was so much blood. _ Connor’s heart pounded in his ears, he couldn’t remember the last time he freaked out like this, the last time he started to  _ panic. _ He couldn't anyway. He couldn’t, Cole needed him. Cole needed his father. Connor dragged himself out of the window, faintly aware of a vibration in his pocket right by his hip.  _ His phone.  _ He could pull it out and call Gavin. He wouldn’t be able to talk to him, but Gavin would  _ know, _ he was good at that. His Detective’s Gut, as he called it. Connor pulled his phone out and emergency called Gavin, putting it on speaker and then scrambled over to his son. 

His son,  _ oh his boy, _ he was scared and twitching and crying. He was wailing for Connor, crying out and trying to reach for him. Blood pouring from his nose and a gash on the side of his head. Connor cried and dragged Cole into his lap as best he could with one arm. He could faintly hear Gavin’s voice in the background. He didn’t pay any attention to it, to how frantic he sounded, to how utterly  _ afraid. _ No, Connor focused on Cole. He leaned over his son, brushing his hair from his forehead and resting his hand on it. Connor tried to smile, tried to make it as comforting as possible to ease his son’s cries. But Cole just wouldn’t stop. He grabbed at Connor’s face, at his hair, and he  _ pulled. _ Instantly, Connor was brought back to that chilly September night six years ago. How he led an infant Cole up to his face and let the baby pull at his hair until it hurt. Just like now. Letting his  _ son _ grab handfuls of his hair and  _ pull _ because it was all he could do. Because he didn’t know any better and it was something to ground him. And Connor cried. He leaned over his son, hand against his forehead, and he cried. He tried asking Cole to count up to ten, to take deep breaths, if he knew what day it was,  _ if he knew who Connor was.  _ But Cole only  _ cried. _ He screamed and he wailed and he whimpered that he didn’t want to die. He repeated it over and over again, like one of his grandfather’s broken old records. Connor did his best to hold himself together. He really did. But seeing his son lying in the middle of the road, holding him in his lap, clothes absolutely  _ saturated _ with his blood. Fuck, he just couldn’t. 

Even as ambulances arrived, Connor cried and he told Cole he was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay and they would go for ice cream tomorrow just like he promised. Connor screaming after the EMTs that he would be  _ fine,  _ that his Daddy loved him, that he would take him for ice cream because he  _ promised. _ Gavin was in front of Connor. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be at home.  _ He was supposed to be at home. _ Cole was going to be okay, EMTs got to him and were taking him to the hospital. He needed to be home, needed to be there for when Connor dropped him off. Why was he dragging Connor to an ambulance? He was fine, his arm felt awful when he moved it, but then he just wouldn’t move it. He needed to know what was happening to his son. Where is his son? Where was his son? Where was Cole? Connor needed to be there. He needed to be there for when he woke up. To bring him to Gavin and Caleb’s, to go get him some ice cream.  _ He needed to be with his son. _

Connor didn’t understand what was happening. He felt his arm get set, the pain was so intense that it settled into his stomach and he just barely missed throwing up on Gavin. He was vaguely aware of stitches being put in him, of a light being shined into his eyes, of someone putting something around his arm to keep the bones in place. Connor’s arm felt a lot better, that was good he was going to need to give Cole a great big hug when he saw him. Gavin was...talking. He was talking and Connor could barely hear him. Something about Caleb and Niles. Oh it would be nice for Cole to see Niles, it had been some time since he got to see his uncle. Maybe he could go for ice cream too. He tried to tell Gavin it was good, that it was good, the five of them could go for ice cream tomorrow. Gavin looked...horrified. That was okay, he’d feel better once Cole was okay. Once Cole was making a good recovery and he would come home safe and sound. 

The ambulance pulled up to the hospital and Connor saw Niles running out to see him. He was always such a lovable little brother. Clingy when they were kids and very very shy. He started telling Connor about Cole’s condition. It wasn’t...good. Why wasn't it good? The EMTs got there and they loaded him into an ambulance and took him to the hospital. He was safe! He was in the hospital Niles worked at, he was  _ safe! _ Connor wasn’t really aware of how loudly he was yelling until Niles hugged him. Niles didn’t hug like that unless someone was freaking out. Oh fuck, was he freaking out? Was he screaming? Fuck, fuck, fuck, he needed to stop. He’d hurt his baby brother. Connor hugged Niles and used his uninjured arm to bring a hand to cover his mouth. Once he was quiet, he had some clearness in his head. The crash, and how much fucking  _ blood _ there was. Connor understood. Cole’s condition wasn’t good now because it wasn’t good to begin with. Niles led him by the hand into the ER, sitting him down in a chair and explaining that they couldn’t find the head surgeon. An android was currently operating on Cole and they didn’t know exactly how it would end. It wasn’t the android’s first bloody rodeo, but it was it’s first bloody rodeo involving a child. 

Not too much later, Caleb ran in with Chris and Gavin in tow. Connor quickly told Chris to go home. He had his own kid who needed him. Chris needed his kid, too, just to hold him and know he was safe and sound. The man looked grateful, gently patting Connor’s shoulder as he thanked him and ran. Caleb sat on Connor’s other side, Gavin to his free side. The four of them waited. They waited for almost two hours before an android came out. Before an android knelt down in front of Connor and told him the news. 

_ Cole died on the table. _

Connor...didn’t exist. He couldn’t feel his fingers on either hand. He felt floaty, felt disconnected from the world around him. He was vaguely aware of Gavin screaming, Caleb telling him to calm down, Niles holding Connor around his shoulders. He saw Gavin’s fist collide with the android’s jaw. Normally he would have jolted back and snapped at Gavin for it. But Connor...just let it happen. He let Niles help the android away. He let Gavin kick at chairs and yell about...Connor didn’t know what he was yelling about. He let Caleb sink to the floor in a crying heap. And what did Connor do? Connor just  _ sat there. _ He sat in that uncomfortable teal plastic chair and he let everything unfold around him. It felt like it had been years since he was told the news, he felt like it had been seconds. It didn’t feel real, it felt too real. Cole was home in bed, he was tugging at Sumo’s fur because he didn’t know any better, he was drooling on Niles’ face because he didn’t have the hang of kisses yet, he was up in a tree he was told not to climb, he was asleep in Caleb’s lap, he was slipping and falling over in a pool while Gavin took a picture, he was in the car, he was laying on the road, he was crying in Connor’s arms,  _ he was dead on a fucking table. _

Connor stood up and grabbed the chair, screaming and throwing at down the hall as hard as his arms would allow. He went to grab another chair and throw it. He almost did before his arm sent shockwaves of pain into his shoulder, radiating down his chest, and settling into his stomach. Connor gagged and dropped the chair. He dropped with it. He dropped to the floor in a pile of sobs and hiccups. He cried like he had never cried before. It felt like he hadn’t. He had never cried like this. Not when Cole took his first steps, not when Cole said his first word, not when Cole went to his first day of school. Connor had never cried like  _ this. _ It was raw, it was real, it was almost primal. It felt like a piece of him just got ripped out of his body. Like he lost a piece of his fucking soul. It  _ hurt. It hurt so bad. _

Caleb was on the floor with him, hugging him as tight as he could without hurting him. It still kind of hurt, but that was okay because the pain grounded him in the now. Before we knew it, his family was gathered around him. Niles had managed to half wedge himself between the twins. He always did that, even when he was little. Kept doing it when something went seriously wrong, even when he got to be six feet fucking tall. Gavin was kneeling and holding the three. They cried. Connor cried so hard he gave himself a goddamn headache. Or maybe it was already there from when that thing fell on his head. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. Connor didn’t care about anything other than comforting his brothers. No parent should outlive their fucking child. 

Over time, the four of them calmed down. Connor stopped crying first, he needed to be the big brother. He needed to comfort Caleb and Niles as best he fucking could. Make himself useful to someone in that department. Next it was Gavin. Maybe he had the same mentality, maybe he didn’t. All Connor knew was that he pulled Caleb away gently and hushed him. Running his fingers through his hair and telling him they needed to go home. They wouldn’t go into the station tomorrow. Caleb stopped crying after a while of Gavin giving him kisses and hugging him. He reached out for Connor, and who was he to say no? He put his good hand in his brother’s and squeezed it. He was there for him. He was going to be there for him and help him. He couldn’t help Cole, but he was going to help the others. So when Niles curled against Connor’s side and cried into his neck, Connor wrapped his arm around him as best he could. The makeshift splint made it hard. But Connor hugged Niles and he pressed a kiss into his hair. He was going to take care of them. He was going to. 

Some time passed before anyone dared approach the brothers. Someone who knew Niles by name, telling him that they needed to at least make a decision of how long the body was going to be there. Connor almost fucking snapped. Almost stood up full height with his shoulder squared and Lieutenant Anderson voice bellowing. But he instead just...broke. He dissolved into a puddle of sobs and let Gavin answer for him. He trusted him. He would make a good decision. Connor didn’t hear what Gavin said. He didn’t hear what the kid was saying, what Niles or Caleb were saying. Honestly, he felt like he was gonna pass out. It wasn’t like his head was bleeding, he probably just had a concussion. He could sleep. He’d wake up. It’d be a fucking nightmare that Sumo came to wake him up from. But the pain in his arm that radiated down through his chest said otherwise. Said that he was fully awake. That this wasn’t a dream. Connor was never a drinker - frankly alcohol spooked him, he had seen enough on the force to know what it could do to people - but fuckin’-a did he want a stiff drink. Dull the pain in his arm, the buzzing in his head, make him forget. 

Connor let Gavin pull him up off the floor and follow Niles. He let doctors and nurses take a look at him. He let them re-do the stitches in his upper arm. He let them reassess his concussion. He let them make him a proper cast for his arm. Then he leaned against Niles, and he started to fall asleep once he got the okay to. Niles had to half drag him out of the ER, load him into the car, and then go home. Gavin and Caleb followed in his car. Connor barely registered his clothes being taken off, barely registered someone bathing him to get the blood off, barely registered someone dressing him and putting him to bed. But Connor did recognize Gavin’s voice throughout all of it. And he recognized Caleb climbing into bed with him, hugging him close and pressing his face into Connor’s good shoulder. He saw Gavin leave the room saying he’d be right back. Connor nearly wept again when he saw Gavin come back in with Cole’s bear, angry little Hank the teddy. It was childish, but Connor reached for him. He held the bear close, held  _ Cole’s _ bear close. Caleb got up as per Connor’s request. He knew he would have nightmares. He didn’t want to wake Caleb up with his tossing and turning. 

Connor started to fall into a fitful sleep. Every time he woke up there was someone new crammed into the bed with him. The first time he woke screaming from a nightmare of the crash, Niles was curled against his side. He was trying not to put too much pressure on him while hugging him. Connor fell into fitful sleep again. Just barely remembering the nightmare and bolting upright in bed sweating. Caleb was by his other side in an instant, guiding him back down to the bed and trying to get him to steady his breathing enough to comfortably lay down. Connor didn’t know when he fell asleep again, but he knew when he woke up. He couldn’t remember what it was. It was probably the crash. It was probably being told his son was  _ dead. _ He was screaming and thrashing about. He almost smacked Niles in the head. Gavin had to pin him down to get him to stop. But once he was calm, once he was still, Gavin laid back down. He was on Caleb’s other side and his arm was draped over both the twins protectively. 

With Connor’s brothers by his sides, he started to fall asleep again.

And he almost wished he wouldn’t wake up.

But he’d leave his brothers alone to deal with this. He couldn’t do that to them. 

He loved them too much. 

So Connor held Hank the teddy close, whispered that he loved his family with a meek and hoarse voice, and he fell asleep.

  
  
  
  



End file.
